I once had a friend who stopped over to visit while I was pumping with my first baby. She sat beside me and midway through our conversation said, “Girl, what are you doing? You’re getting dust!” I looked down and after 20 minutes of pumping the bottles were dry.
I laughed, but it also stuck with me. I stopped breastfeeding my first son because my supply was so small and I couldn’t see that fact as anything but failure. Everything in me was just driven to make more milk. I’d been so conditioned to believe that the only right way to breastfeed was exclusively breastfeeding and my inability to do so kept me from enjoying breastfeeding (and more than that, really factored into my developing postpartum anxiety and depression).
Once my second child came around I was more open to accepting the limits of my body, not as something attached to effort or morality- but something outside of my control. It allowed me to explore reasons why I wanted to breastfeed. If I can’t ever make a full milk supply, why do I do it? Everyone with low supply has their own answer, but my biggest motivator is comfort.
Benefits of Comfort Nursing
Comfort nursing/dry nursing or non-nutritive sucking provides emotional support and security for baby, but it’s beneficial for us too. Researchers have discovered that mothers experience a release in oxytocin not only as a response to suckling, but also in anticipation of it. Oxytocin functions beyond breastfeeding- the hormone is associated with trust, bonding and empathy.
Studies have shown that comfort nursing decreases a baby’s heart rate and promotes relaxation. It increases opportunity for skin to skin contact, which stabilizes baby’s temperature, breathing and blood sugar. Skin to skin lowers the risk of postpartum depression and has beneficial affects on a baby’s immune system, and research indicates that long-term benefits include enhanced child cognitive development.
There’s more to breastfeeding than nutrition, and I don’t say that as some second place participation-trophy holder. You can do magic with dust.
Comfort nursing is only one practice to support bonding and it’s not a requirement for it. Thankfully, our bond with our infants isn’t reliant on a feeding method. If comfort nursing isn’t your thing, leaning into what practices feel sustainable and positive for you and your child is what most benefits your bond and affirms your feeding method.
Promoting Comfort Nursing
If you're curious about what practices most support comfort nursing and want to prioritize this practice, here are a few helpful tips:
Offer the breast before sleep
This is probably the easiest way to really stregthen a positive breast association. When nursing to sleep, your child comes to associate your body, and specifically nursing, directly with comfort. If there's one practice that I'd say is my go-to for hacks to get a baby happy on the boob, it's nursing to sleep before naps and bed. The downside here is that this isn't an accessible long-term option for everyone as many parents return to work or find it challenging to balance alongside other demands. So caveat here: when it's accesible option- it's a great one.
No-Pressure Approach
Comfort nursing can be more challenging for babies that have experienced breast refusal previously, but that doesn't mean a child will always refuse the breast. Of course, this is very individual to each child and some willl return to the breast after more positive associations and learned. Aside from nursing to sleep, consider creating times where baby had access to the breasts without expectation of nursing. This can be done through hopping in the bath together, laying in bed together, or just cuddling skin to skin on the couch. The more opportunities baby is given for a no-pressure approach to nursing, the higher the likelihood that those associations will be strengthened.
Being Mindful of Bottle Behavior
One of the biggest challenges when you're hopping from breast to bottle is the balance of keeping those practices as positive, seperate entities. You'll hear about "nipple confusion," but this is a misnomer- infants know the difference between your body and a bottle. The influence that can create a challenge is the flow rate of a bottle's nipple. For low suppliers, it's not uncommon that our rate of milk flow is slower than the average person's. If our infant is feeding from a bottle with a flow rate that is much different than our own, this is very "confusion" can exit. This is why utilizing a preemie or super-slow flow nipple for newborns or the slowest flow accepted by older babies is the most complementary practice to make transitioning from the bottle to breast easier.
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